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| trouble |
| 04.25.04 (10:39 pm) [edit] |
Have you ever had one of those really weird feelings like something was going to happen and you’re waiting for it, but you don’t even know what it is? I’m feeling restless, unsettled, like I need to DO something, change something…I just don’t know.
I think I’m bored….what will I do about that? Logic tells me to do nothing about it and be happy with the boredom I’ve so longed for forever. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. I wanted boredom, normalcy and I’ve got it. Now what?
Am I really all that different than I was 12 years ago? Am I really all that different than I was 5 years ago? I know I’m different than I was 2 years ago, but two years ago I wasn’t myself and it’s good to have changed from that. But what have I changed to? Have I changed back into who I was or into someone new altogether? Or am I just pretending to have changed at all, fooling myself into believing I can change?
Three hours later, I’ve finished my conversation with myself. LOL and my conversation with others. I will never change. I love trouble too much. It’s what I am, what I’m meant to be, what I will always find. And it’s also what I am bound to prevent in others. Consider the trouble over. I thought I needed others for this, but I realized I don’t. Done. Well, give me a week if you want to get technical. Then done.
Ahhhhh, it’s always nice to figure out what your place in the world is. Trouble is what I’m all about. A good trouble though. LOL Uh huh…suuuuurrrreeeee.
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