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| what am I doing? |
| 04.26.04 (10:53 am) [edit] |
What is it about me that I can screw up everything I try to do in life? Is it bad luck? Bad karma? Stupidity? Hell if I know.
I just walked away from my relationship. I couldn’t do it. I can’t deal with long distance, I fear commitment and am just in a fuck it all mood. That’s what happens when I get restless. I make changes in anything and everything I can. Sometimes for the better, sometimes not. I just really don’t want to lose my friendship with him and am afraid that if I stay in the relationship I will end up doing something stupid and ruining not just the relationship but the friendship as well. I’d rather walk away now and hope like hell we still have the friendship. Although in thinking about it, he’s got to think I’m completely insane. Which most likely, I am. I can’t explain what goes on in my mind that makes me do 180’s at any given moment.
How does anyone deal with me? I can’t even deal with me.
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