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| and life changes... |
| 06.21.04 (7:30 am) [edit] |
I so need to start packing. I’m leaving for NYC tomorrow. My kids have one babysitter Tuesday and Wednesday, another Thursday and Friday, then the ex picks them up on Friday. Then they are gone until the 17th or 24th of July…damn I hate the ex and his lack of solid dates. I have so much to do and here I am sitting around drinking coffee and trying not to think about it. I leave first thing tomorrow morning. I have to get everything ready. I think a part of me is still in denial of everything. The kids being gone for that long. Me flying to NYC to help my sister move. It’s so different than anything I’ve ever done. I don’t get week-long trips by myself. I don’t leave my kids with babysitters that long, mainly because I’ve never had anyone to do that with me feeling comfortable about it.
Does anyone realized that this is terrifying for me? I’ll do fine and get through it well, I know that. It’s just going to be that initial shock tomorrow morning of actually starting on all these plans and changes. I try not to worry about all the things that can go wrong, but a few things keep popping into my mind. Especially that the moronic ex won’t actually come pick up the kids and will change plans yet again. I really think I’d lose it on him. But hopefully, he’ll actually follow through on his plans this time. I just have to believe that he will otherwise I will never get on that plane to NYC. It’s bad enough leaving my kids a few days earlier than I have to. I think that’s one reason I put everything off so long, like packing. If I’m busy and things are hectic, I have less time to dwell on that fact. There won’t be a really teary-eyed leaving in the morning because it will be fairly early and I’ll be rushing getting the last minute things done.
And then, when I get back next week, I’ll have an empty house and have to figure out then what to do and will probably have a temporary breakdown missing the kids. But, then I will shake it off and move on and hang in there until they get back.
And all in all, the extra time with the kids before they left has been wonderful. We’ve kept busy with parks, COSI, zoo trips and backyard playing with neighborhood kids. It’s been great and fun and really made me appreciate having them around and take advantage of having them here.
Everything happens for a reason, eh?
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posted by: lynne (reply)
post date: 06.21.04 (7:45 am)
I dont have kids so I dont really understand what it would feel like to leave them with a babysitter. But, I hope you have fun in NYC. I love it there!
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