Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2005 August
2005 July
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
2004 April
2004 March
2004 February
My Links
Lynne's TBlog
HevenlyShades TBlog
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| SSDD |
| 07.27.04 (8:05 pm) [edit] |
I’ve got that borderline anxiety feeling right now. That if I let myself think for too long is going to become full-fledged anxiety. I feel frustrated and stressed with no reason to actually pinpoint, but a thousand reasons to sort through.
Things seem to be getting back to same shit, different day. It all feels so familiar but it’s not really relaxing in its familiarity. My test results for cancer were negative, which was great news, but not quite the relief I was expecting because there seems to be still a problem in how I feel. I don’t really want to get into that though. I’m just sitting back hoping that it will go away and the last procedure actually will help and that’ll be the end of it. The kids have returned which is so very wonderful. I really didn’t do too much while they were gone. I just didn’t need the stress relief of getting out and didn’t really have the funds to do it anyway. I’m so happy to have them back. They are so much a part of me, and my life everyday.
I go soon to enroll in courses in college to try and finish my degree sometime this century. I think it will be an adjustment getting back into school, but I am looking forward to it very much. I need that to focus on and help me direct my life where I want it to go. I’m looking forward to the work. It’s for me, on my time, to help my goals. I’ve needed that for a while now. I feel college this time will be a lot easier for me. I study, I do the work, I learn, I succeed. It’s so cut and dry and simple. Always before, there was too much to get in the way of that simple focus. Now, I simply can not wait for the simplicity of it. There are no complications like there are in everyday human interaction. It’s just me books and maybe the occasional teacher. Now, of course, financial aid is always a pain, but even that seems preferable to me right now. I think I’m just seeking the isolation with the focus and reason of pursuing my goals. I’m just feeling so worn down right now. I think school will give me the fulfillment I seek.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
